The Boob Tube Review: Oct. 26, 2011

Every week, we discuss the television we've been watching. There are usually plenty of spoilers, so beware:

Up All Night: Birth

Season 1, Episode 6, NBC

Not much to say aside from this is the greatest show ever about parenthood and I love Maya Rudolph and Christina Applegate and Will Arnett in a borderline unhealthy way (thissuperclose to photoshopping pictures of us riding tandem bikes together). And I'm so in awe of the fact that they actually mentioned the whole pooping thing because that's never mentioned when talking about giving birth and that's clearly the most horrifying part. That should be the entire safe-sex campaign right there: use condoms because chances are when you give birth, you'll poop yourself. I just solved teen pregnancy. - Alex Snider 


The Walking Dead: "Bloodletting"

Season 2, Episode 2, AMC

Was that an episode of ER or The Walking Dead? I'm still undecided. It seems the writers are slowing the pace even more by separating the characters we know and teasing us with some new ones. I like the idea of them finding new survivors so I'm not complaining too much yet. But it was so lame when they slowed everything down during the attack on Andrea. - Cody McGraw

Who shot Carl? MOSE MANUEL FROM DEADWOOD! Exciting times! Almost makes up for all of the talking. Goodness gracious, if there is one thing I'm learning it's that nothing will ever kill off angst. T-Dog had a Hollywood-informed rant about his precarious position as the only Black person. Buck up, T-Dog! There's a Black zombie attacking Andrea RIGHT NOW. And now he's dead. Carry on. Also can I just say that if I were Sheriff Rick, I'd find it less disturbing that Hershel is a vet than that he somehow believes the whole zombie thing will sort itself out because of AIDS? {: o  - AS


Once Upon a Time: "Pilot"

Season 1, Episode 1, ABC

Uh oh it's another genre show on TV that's sure to get a cult following and not much more for us to call "canceled too soon" for years to come. It's a little cutesy for my taste, but it's definitely very interesting and could get really cool if they keep up the high quality of the pilot. It has the potential to be an escapism hit. Side bar: why would Little Red Riding Hood want to visit her Grandma after she calls her a slut?  - CM 


Dexter: "Horse of a Different Color"

Season 6, Episode 4, Showtime

So much better than last week, thank Gloria Esteban, with the plot lurching forward like a half mannequin, half corpse strapped to a horse. The new detective, Doakes 2.0, introduced the team to words like tableau and research. Adama (who, just floating a theory out there, might be a figment of Hanks Jr.'s mind?) provided the most terrifying moment of the hour when he watched Travis boning his date *deep shudder*. Deb finally mentioned Astor and Cody, dashing everyone's hopes of a horrible alligator attack. Masuka prioritized his job over his personality. Adama accused Travis of defiling a woman, woman was killed for said defilement; yep, that sounds about right. Mos Def continues to confuse my libido with facial hair that in the history of the earth has never, ever been attractive on a man, ever and yet... - AS 


Criminal Minds: From Childhood's Hour

Season 7, Episode 5, CBS

Oh dear. There was a time (like a month ago) that I defended you, Criminal Minds, told people that you were different from other crime procedurals. I would tell people how kind and compassionate and non-judgmental you were about mental illness and childhood abuse. That you always made an effort to include disclaimers that mental illness does not equal violence, that those who turn violent are the outliers. But now, yikes. First there was the episode with Dean from Weeds who "didn't get enough oxygen at birth" and that made him predisposed to be a psychopath (seriously, what the goddamn fuck?). Then there was last week's episode about a mother who was depressed and tried to kill herself. She wasn't even the killer and the shame that was heaped on her for being sick, for being on medications was stomach-turning. I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed. And I'm angry. - AS 


The Amazing Race: "I Feel Like I'm In The Circus!"

Season 19, Episode 5, CBS

The fifth leg of The Amazing Race finds the remaining seven teams bumbling about Bangkok, and finds me still drooling over Phil Keoghan, and reminiscing about the time we met and could have shared a turkey sandwich. It also finds me marvelling at the fact that I do not hate a single team - which is pretty unheard of at this point in the race. Dating couple Jeremy and Sandy are starting to wear on me, with Sandy's complete inability to do anything other than scream at Jeremy, but aside from that, all the teams are pretty awesome. Anyhizzle, in this episode, the twins got to act cute with a bunch of elephants, act cuter with some taxi drivers to get their ride for nearly free, and then act even cuter while crying at their elimination. Hot snowboarders, Andy & Tommy, told everyone about their devout religious beliefs while working out a clue at a Buddhist temple (hint: they aren't Buddhists), and adorable grandparents (who I not-so-secretly want to win) managed to come in second place after totally rocking the memory task. Amazing! - Laurie McGregor

-----

The Boob Tube Review appears every week. You can find all of them here.