The True Blood Spin Off Showcase by Cody McGraw

True Blood is set to return next Sunday (June 16) for its 6th season and it got us thinking and somewhat saddened. Stuff like, “Wow, is that show still on?” crossed our minds. As did, “Remember when we were excited for this show’s premiere?” and “Why doesn’t Bill glamour Sookie into fixing her gap tooth?”

Let’s face it. The show has never been as good as its amazing first season and it probably won’t ever be again. Now with Alan Ball gone it seems even more unlikely that the show will return to its mysterious roots. Instead, it'll stay a cross between Twin Peaks and Showgirls.

So we thought we’d pitch a few spin-off ideas that showcase the characters we’ve fallen in love with in a slightly different way.

The Pam De Beaufort Show 
We can all admit Pam is the coolest character on True Blood so naturally she should get a spin off. This series, dealing with the behind the scenes antics of a talk show, focuses on the trials and tribulations of the American audience warming up to the first vampire talk show host. Although she frequently glamours her audience because the show is actually a train wreck, she becomes an icon in style and her sidekick, Tara (Rutina Wesley), keeps her attitude in check while resisting her constant complaining. Larry Sanders has NOTHING on Pam.

Leader of the Pack 
After realizing he has no life (or decent storyline) in Bon Temps, Alcide Herveaux (Joe Manganiello) decides to move in with his brother (John Stamos) in Houston after his wife leaves him. With his drunk father (Robert Patrick) along for the ride (and for comic relief), the three men learn to live and love all while being good wolves. Keep your eyes peeled for Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammell) because he always pops up looking for a scene to chew on. LITERALLY. Theme song written and sung by Alan Thicke.

Bon Temps 1987
People still love prequels, right? In this prequel, we follow a young Sookie and Jason Stackhouse as they grow up in Bon Temps. Mystery surrounds the arguments of their parents and constant whispers around town as strangers come in and out of their lives. Watch as Sookie discovers she can hear thoughts and Jason realizes he owns clothes. Good thing they have Gran (Susan Surandon) to keep them in check with a Civil War time story and a glass of lemonade. Puberty has never been more fun to watch!

Bayou Medium 
In this reality show-themed series, we follow Lafayette Reynolds (Nelsan Ellis) as he goes up and down the bayou speaking for those who have passed on thanks to his honed gift and help from the ghost of Jesus (Kevin Alejandro). Whether it’s in a group, a one-on-one appointment or simply a reading done waiting in line to use the men’s room, Lafayette is there, fabulous and ready to snap in your face and give you a reality lesson. His motto: “Can’t afford a Long Island Medium? Call the next best thing, gurl.”

True Blood: After Sunset
This series is just the naked parts from the original series. Yeah, that’s why you watch anyway, so why not just skip the boring parts and watch this? Problem solved.

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Cody McGraw is many things but the thing you can actually call him to his face is the Managing Editor of The Little Red Umbrella. See more posts from him here or follow him on Twitter (@cody_mcgraw).